@AmishPornStar1: Pretty sure marriage was invented to help people overcome their fear of death.
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@joejwest: ME: [bumps man] MAN: [spills coffee] Say sorry ME: No MAN: Then I'll see you in court ME: [remembers I own a camouflage suit] You won't
@jtrulez: She walked in & she had legs, legs that went on for days. Who knows where they went? They just kept wenting. - Why my mystery novel failed
@Karissajem: So, this woman stopped to ask me if my hair color was "supposed to look natural." My hair is purple, guys. Purple.