@AmishPornStar1: Pretty sure marriage was invented to help people overcome their fear of death.
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@BuckyIsotope: Nude Descending a Staircase is both my favorite work of art and the most common entry on my criminal records.
@UNTRESOR: Let's agree that if we're both not married in ten years we'll sew our cats together to make one big SuperCat.
@Cravin4: Son:Dad's trick or treating as a ghost in a bed sheet? Wife:& heels,eye patch & his hand stuck in a Nutella jar. More like a ghost on ambien
@thenatewolf: I saw an old couple sharing a newspaper and was like "oh wow maybe marriage is cool" and then the lady said "STOP BREATHING ON ME"