@astutenewf: Pretty sure most of the people in coffee shops on lap tops are just writing letters to their parents asking if they can move back home.
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@vladchoc: Why should I have to take a first aid course? Why is this on me? Why don't you take a "how to eat sandwiches without choking" course?
@hotsoccerchic69: my mom walked in when I was printing out a naked picture of a woman in 5th grade& we sat there in silence listening to the loud, 90s printer
@GrantTanaka: Wife: It's like every man on earth has to share one brain Me: [can't think of a good comeback because it's not my turn to use the brain]