@heytherejeffro: Pretty sure the "FINISH HIM" guy from Mortal Kombat is giving relationship advice to every girl I date.
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@Plurprincess_1: I bought a pair of Undies yesterday. On the front it says, "I Will do Anything For Love" ..and on the back it says, "But I Won't do That."
@SaveItForFest: You know the best side effect of losing weight? Supersonic hearing. I can hear the crinkle of a candy wrapper or bag of chips through walls.
@LOsepyan: If you play a NIickelback song backwards you'll hear messages from the illuminant.Even worse, if you play it forward you'll hear NIickelback
@BigFatNothing: (in a rowboat with 6 starving people) "I think you mean "WHOM should we eat first"