@WilliamAder: Pretty sure the guy who named them "walkie talkies" got fired before he could name other military equipment.
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@ValeeGrrl: 7yo: [points to baptism outfit hanging in closet] IS THAT TINY WHITE OUTFIT FROM WHEN I DID BABY KARATE Me: 7yo: Me: yup 7yo: AWESOME
@Marlebean: Hubby took the kids downstairs and is letting me sleep in! I'm so excit..never mind, I hear crying already. I think it's my husband.
@BillPelicanBros: Cop: You were speeding so I'm going to be giving you a ticket Me: Ooh, could I win something Cop: Sort of, 2 more of these & you get a bike
@lildandeli0n: I'm pretty sure Kanye West is the reason why we arent allowed to retweet our own tweets.