@WilliamAder: Pretty sure the guy who named them "walkie talkies" got fired before he could name other military equipment.
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@KenJennings: WAYS TO KILL 2 BIRDS W/ 1 STONE 1 Ricochet 2 Retrieve, rethrow 3 Line up birds precisely 4 Huge boulder 5 Use lovebirds, 2nd dies of grief
@RahulReply: going to office: late . going to a doctors appointment: late . going to a friends house: late . going to a concert: 8 hours early
@ch000ch: just got mad and flipped a table but it spun all the way around in landed right side up. everyone in Applebee's is clapping