@WilliamAder: Pretty sure the guy who named them "walkie talkies" got fired before he could name other military equipment.
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@SteveSuckington: Me: I need to sleep Ambien: do worms have buttholes? You should text your boss
@LocoBurritoMan: Today I got chased by a thief trying to steal my wallet.. I managed to get away, but he definitely gave me a good run for my money!
@WhaJoTalkinBout: I'm not saying four kids is too many, I'm just saying it would be kind of cool if I could melt them all down to form one kid, that's all.
@QwertyJones3: Wife: He's your son! Me: So you say! But I don't... *Kid dances across the room to the Benny Hill theme song* Me: ...ok fine he's my son.