@Sychlops: Pretty sure Zinedine Zidane never forgave his parents for all the waiting he had to do for his attendance call in school.
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@BlairLoudly: I've easily spent 12% of my life chuckling at my own jokes and being grossed out by my own body. Also, I like random percentages.
@dafloydsta: [counseling] She gets angry a lot "He took me camping and left me in the middle of nowhere" YOU SAID YOU LIKED SURVIVOR, KAREN
@omgthatspunny: I told my boss I needed a pay rise, I said that 3 other companies were after me. He said: “which ones?" I replied: “the electricity, gas and the water".