@Cheeseboy22: Pretty upsetting that gummy worms are actual size but gummy bears are not.
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@Yankeegiant72: I like listening to Phil Collins in the shower. He gets creeped out when he sees me, though.
@QwertyJones3: Dentist: Ok, I'm going to start drilling. "Wait! What if I have to poop?" D: Then you should go now. *awkward pause* "Thanks I feel better."
@joshgondelman: "At least you're going to get a lot of material out of this," is comedian-speak for, "Sorry about your life, dude."
@roostermustache: Me: yeah was bingo the name of the dog or the farmer Professor: i meant questions about the exa- holy shit