@mishakey: Pretty weird to think that in the future, there will be old people named 'Hailey' and 'Brayden' running around in vintage Twilight t-shirts.
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@rickolantern: My doctor said if I wanna drop a few pounds I'd have to stay away from carbs So I've been using this insanely long straw to drink beer
@deegeemindi: If someone got my name tattooed on them I'd break up with them to prove it was a bad idea.
@drinksmcgee: Someone just told me that they hate bacon... I can't even find words... It's like someone just murdered a rainbow.
@Sal_Stevens: Hey baby, I'm like Fred Flintstone I can really make your bed-rock. Also I live in a cave and don't have any electricity