@thatfinguy: Pretty woman wouldn't have been as sweet of a love story if we saw all the times she sucked c**k for money weeks prior.
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@GurjarShakti: Girl- send your pic. Me - i hv a group photo with friends. Girl- ok send. Me *sent a group photo* Girl - where are you ? Me- clicking pic.
@squirrel74wkgn: [at a party] *taps wife's shoulder* I've looked everywhere...where are all the swings? (wife pulls away from kissing Bob) "What?"
@iLikeCatShirts: When someone tries to tell me they can't do something, I'm like "you ever hear of the Power of Grayskull?"