@Gasuza_Tiziano: Previously On Persistence 😎
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@FunnyMojoJojo: Last week I chopped my neighbour's tree and now it's growing back because his-tree repeats itself...
@JohnLyonTweets: House arrest? Your Honor, if anyone is going to be punished here it should be me. My house has done nothing wrong.
@duumb: [remembering phone charger is in my pocket as I jump from empire state building] omg this is gonna hurt
@balloonsmatt: Your mother and I want you to know that we love you very much, so that’s why we’re getting a divorce and marrying you instead.