@thejessigirl45: Does anyone else bring a bag of clever disguises to the grocery store in case there's a wine sampling booth that day?

@AmishPornStar1: If you accidentally use Pam cooking spray instead of Off... It still works, because the mosquitoes just slide off your legs.

@Playing_Dad: If I had a time machine I would go back to the Star Wars era and kill baby Darth Vader

@david8hughes: "The best things in life are free." ~ shoplifters.

@Diversion50: My Grandfathers dying words to me were, "Are you still holding the ladder?".