@jergarl: When I was a kid I used to ask my my papa... "Whatcha doin?"
Papa would say, "I'M MINDING MY OWN DAMN BUSINESS."
Best advice ever.
@TheMichaelRock: Foreigner: I wanna know what love is..
Me: It's a feeling you get when..
Foreigner: I want you to show me..
Me: Ok, like wow. We just met
@E_lok44: [After date, walking her to her door]
Her: Thanks. I would invite you in, but I don't want to.
@Playing_Dad: [At dinner]
Daughter: Daddy, how much of this meatball is meat?
Me: Probably like 90%
D: So it's 10% balls?
Me: *spits out food*
@beisswrandon: Maybe Jesus went black, and that's why he isn't coming back.
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