@truegritrumble: PRO SURVIVAL TIP: Don't go through that door that mysteriously opened all by itself in that 300 year old hotel with a tragic past.
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@CornOnTheGoblin: °pulls up to drive-thru° [ME] ONE NUMBER 4 WITH A COKE [FREIND] aren't you on a diet [ME] oh yeah..AND A BOOK ABOUT MANNERS FOR MY FRIEND
@novicefather: [interview] "I'm not sure your experience is sufficient for this position." me: Trump is president "Touché, you're hired"
@UltraPunch: It's impossible to say "mesh" without sounding like Sean Connery... Also you just tried it.
@HairyJew4Life: Filing taxes is so depressing. Do you own a home? No. Have a spouse? Not even close. Kids? Not that I know of. Enjoy your refund, loser