@devansgorock: Pro Tip: don't believe everything on Twitter. Y'all said throw her up against the wall to keep her happy. Karen from accounting. Not Happy.
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@kevinseccia: Just hit a racist with my car. Probably a racist. I feel like he was. Statistically, very likely. Oh so you think there's no racism problem?
@WhatevaConc: When complaining of a stomach ache, you don't really need to point to it or pat it gently. People pretty much know where the stomach is.
@heatherlou_: I almost confused a laxative and Ibuprofen and that would have changed my plans for the evening significantly