@devansgorock: Pro Tip: don't believe everything on Twitter. Y'all said throw her up against the wall to keep her happy. Karen from accounting. Not Happy.
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@sublyfe2015: My mom handed me her phone to find me on Twitter... So I deleted her account, uninstalled the app, and told her it went out of business.
@pevbim: I've never held a baby before "It'll be fine" *I accidentally put the baby in a box and mail it to North Korea*
@ItalianBratikus: My friend thinks her husband is cheating on her. I don't have the heart to tell her he's just out chasing Pokemon.
@dumbbeezie: Thank you to all the people who tweet landscape pictures so we don't forget what it looks like outside