@TheAlexNevil: Pro Tip: don't buy cheap duct tape. Your basement guests can chew right through that.
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@Boleyngirly: My daughter just announced she's SICK of stupid-ass people. I said "Oh darlin, you're gonna feel ill for a long time.. they're everywhere."
@mattgallo123: <job interview> It says here on your resume that you are a "self-proclaimed man of few words." Would you like to elaborate on that? Me: no
@JoeBerkowitz: I'd watch Pimp My Ride: One Year Later, a show about people coming to terms with maintaining a fish tank and waffle-maker in a Ford Fiesta.
@Dawn_M_: Strangers get so paranoid when they catch you stirring a mysterious powder into their drink.