@TheAlexNevil: Pro Tip: don't fall asleep during the middle of an argument with your spouse over whether or not you pay attention to her.
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@PoblicMenace: If using your 4yo as a remote control to fetch things makes you a bad parent, then I'm a bad parent... A bad parent with an ice cold beer.
@sixfootcandy: You're supposed to pee on a Jellyfish sting and not a jelly stain? Well that was really embarrassing.
@LaurenRP: I went outside without makeup on. A child cried and I think a bird flew into a window on purpose.
@RoosterMustache: [enter password] mypulloutgame [password weak] All 8 of my kids: daddy why are u crying