@TheAlexNevil: Pro Tip: don't fall asleep during the middle of an argument with your spouse over whether or not you pay attention to her.
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@tastefactory: *ring ring* Hello? "If u want to see ur son again give me $500,000" OH GOD PLEASE DONT HURT HIM "I won't if u-" Haha gotcha, leave a message
@Neauxpe: The last time I wore a red shirt, I went to Target and laid off 8 people in the morning team huddle.
@junejuly12: Ever get home, look at your hair in a mirror, and wonder how many small children you terrified while you were out