@novicefather: Pro tip: If a woman asks you how she looks, the correct answer is not "like Dan Aykroyd."
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@Book_Krazy: *opens drawer* huh, I don't remember this shirt being pink. OMG...did he...did he do laundry? *slowly opens 2nd drawer* -Law & Order sound
@abbycohenwl: Guy: If u won lotto, what'd u get? Me: A cat sitter G: To take extra good care of Sox? M: *pictures a cat in a suit taking care of me* Yes
@lisaOoOo: I slept with the lights on last night because I missed the light switch with all 8 of the Nerf Darts I shot while lying in bed.