@lawyerthoughts: Pro tip: if you absolutely must speak in court, do not put air quotes around "the law". Judges don't like it.
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@DannyZuker: You can learn a lot about your kids by simply turning off the TV and talking. For example I discovered that mine are really boring.
@Sickayduh: "Well, congrats. You're a homeowner now. Any questions?" "Yeah. Sam put those glasses on eBay, why didn't the Decepticons just bid on em?"
@PanicRestroom: Always stand up for what you believe in, unless what you believe in is sitting down.