@SaraMansford: Pro tip: If you forget their name after a one night stand, just take them to Starbucks in the morning.
YOU MIGHT ALSO LIKE
@Sassafrantz: Saw a couple wearing surgical masks in public and all I could think was "what do they know that I don't?"
@LackOfShame: While sitting on the beach, 16 told me he is going to go under the pier with his girlfriend and catch crabs. They grow up so fast.
@SortaSarcastic: Okay you guys, I'm gonna distract Twitter with an internal server error. When I do, make a run for it and get your life back.
@CheryeDavis: Of all the grotesque sounds coming from the bathroom stall next to me, the camera click was the most disturbing!!