@callie_cakes: PRO TIP: If you hold out your arms like Frankenstein when walking in a leg brace, people let you cut in line at Starbucks.
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@PS_IRuddYou: This girl text me: "your adorable I text back: no YOU'RE adorable Now she likes me and I was just pointing out her typo...
@ComedyAndTruth: Me: I'm gonna lose weight. Me: I'm gonna exercise every day. Me: I'm gonna go on a diet and stick to it. Me: Is that cake?
@BackrowSeats: Some people might find a grown man talking to himself strange, & it's probably the couple sitting next to me.
@hunz74: "Are you smarter than a 5th grader?" Me: "Sometimes?" "Are you smarter than a 16 year old?" Me: "Always."