@Book_Krazy: Pro-tip Ladies, try to refrain from plucking that one crazy hair from his nose while he's sleeping. He won't think it's as funny as you do.
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@T_N_Crumpets: [phone call] Prank caller: Hi, I'd like to speak to Agood Boi Receptionist: who's Agood Boi? Prank caller: lol *tail goes nuts*
@gobmentcheese: When walking off an elevator, I like to turn around & say, "this is the part in our adventure where I must leave you now."
@JediGigi: Ugh my boyfriend's all "Stop asking my Dad if he likes your underoos" and "Stop snap-chatting my Mom" and "Stop calling me your boyfriend"
@davedittell: if the waitress at this brunch doesn't give me the Mother's Day special then I shaved my legs and stole this baby for nothing