@tararose711: Pro tip: never tell a three-year-old that you're going to Disney unless you plan on leaving that very second.
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@VerbsRProudest: I don't know when the apocalypse will happen. All I know for sure is my son will still have 4th grade math homework due the next day.
@EJGomez: if ur getting chased by a bunch of drunk 90's kids just yell out "in west Philadelphia born & raised" then u got like 2 min to run
@toastymoe: Bad news: I got so busy drafting tweets, I forgot to pick the kids up at school. Worse news: I'm a bus driver