@fillthevacuum: Pro tip: The Labor Day weekend is a great time to start drafting your Halloween, Thanksgiving, and Christmas tweets.
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@galiamango: I'm not a shout it from the rooftops kind of person, but I'll write it on a post-it and leave it lying around for people to see.
@3sunzzz: My son turns 18 today. I bought him a set of luggage for his birthday. Too forward? Maybe it's too forward.
@notacroc: Wife: y is a penguin w an umbrella in the- Me:*points to dog dressed as batman* so Bark Wayne isnt bored W: M: he needs an arch enemy, Karen