@mrtruthandsoul: Pro Tip: wash your hands after you shake mine
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@ohthatbadger: 30% of Satan's workday is responding to accidental summonings caused by predictive typing.
@Ivsy01: Keep it mysterious, ladies... Him: See you next time. Me: Maybe. Him: Do you want your receipt?
@KellyMeldrum: My kids are so aware that I'm a bad driver that if I start the car before they have their seatbelts on, they cry.