@mrtruthandsoul: Pro Tip: wash your hands after you shake mine
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@GeriatricBeards: *throws coin in fountain* stranger: can you not do that? Me: just want my wish to come true S: this is a drinking fountain m: wish came true
@Brampersandon_: [Americas Got Talent] ME: *reads an opinion different than mine online without getting offended* JUDGE (under his breath): how'd he do that
@LindseyEllison2: I want to pick up a hitchhiker before I die. Not like right before I die, but you know.