@mrtruthandsoul: Pro Tip: wash your hands after you shake mine
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@ValeeGrrl: Apparently when a couple tells you they're pregnant with their 6th kid it's not cool to yell "OMG DUDE GET OFF HER."
@krisv_723: Everyone on FB is posting the status- I voted. I guess it's truthful Tuesday so I posted- I once killed a hobo & hid his body in a barrel.
@itsa_talia: when i end emails with best, talia it is not abbreviated well-wishes, but letting you know that i am the best talia.
@RidiculousSheri: You know what cats don't like? Blow dryers. You know what's funny? Pointing your blow dryer at your cat. Anyway, I lost an eye today.