@merican_ninjy: Pro tip: when a cop asks you to step out of the car, don't reply with "I'm too drunk, you get in."
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@drhappyknuckles: It's embarrassing when you offer a bus seat to a pregnant woman but she's not a pregnant woman, he's your boss and you're stoned at work.
@NotKarma: Just once I'd like to meet a person whose job is to make captchas so I can slap him in the face for making my life difficult.
@fluffysuse: When I was just a little girl, I asked my mother what will I be. Will I be pretty, will I be rich? Here's what she said to me: GO TO SLEEP.