@merican_ninjy: Pro tip: when a cop asks you to step out of the car, don't reply with "I'm too drunk, you get in."
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@MollySneed: I can relate to Alice in Wonderland. She just keeps randomly eating and drinking with the hope that it might magically solve her problems.
@gianni_bcn: What I do have are a very particular set of skills, skills I have adquired over a.... *Accidentally drops cell phone on the toilet*
@iscoff: *draws a tarot card* Ah, the guy with too many swords. This card means you need to have less swords