@ClassicMegan: Pro tip: when you have a drug test and they tell you to go to the bathroom in the cup, that means PEE. Always.
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@paulablu22: Hey guy in your car behind me, Your honking isn't going to make me type any faster.
@NYC_Blonde: That touchdown dance is exactly the same as mine when I wake up in a guy's apartment and his furnished apartment has a nice view.
@LurkAtHomeMom: Pediatrician: How much water does she drink? Me: You mean like water water or bath water?