@ClassicMegan: Pro tip: when you have a drug test and they tell you to go to the bathroom in the cup, that means PEE. Always.
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@AimeeHelene1: At a red light: Me: *turns to face car next to me* *rolls down window* Guy: *looks* Me: *loudly sings song* *dances* G: *panicked look*
@VolatileVani: There's a guy sitting here on a typewriter. A typewriter. I don't know if he's a hipster or a ghost but either way I want no part of it.
@sfreeze6: Seize the day. Repossess the evening. Impound last week. Forcibly confiscate the entire month of September.