@ClassicMegan: Pro tip: when you have a drug test and they tell you to go to the bathroom in the cup, that means PEE. Always.
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@DaveAmiott: Author: So, I've got this children's book. It's about a hungry caterpillar. Agent: Pass Author: A VERY hungry caterpillar. Agent: Go on...
@JennyJohnsonHi5: Surprise parties for Lindsey Lohan probably have that "Intervention-y" feeling at first.
@Fred_Delicious: [At work] "guys check this out" [Tries to do the fake walking downstairs thing but gets it wrong & walks up into the air] "Holy shit help"
@HeyZeus666: Answer : Mrs.Claus Question : Who was the only person in history that was unhappy when Santa came early?