@OkieGirl405: Pro tip: when your neighbors make you mad, send your 8 y/o son over to describe in complete detail what all 379 of his Hot Wheels look like
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@ChaseMit: Just want to point out the NRA's plan to stop school shootings is literally the plot of Kindergarten Cop.
@donni: Finally, you get a cab. The driver is a golden retriever. You hop in and hope for the best
@AnkCoupleTO: *84th flr* CW: You look sad, can I cheer you up? M: Heard Van Halen's "Jump"? CW: Sure! Me: Jump out that window and sing it on the way down
@iAmDelFreaky: Me: Here you go. Her: WTF? Me: It's the genital mold you wanted. Her: I said gelatin mold! Me: *waddles away with pants around ankles*