@AmishPornStar1: Pro Tip: You can disable the surveillance camera in your microwave by heating a metal fork on the high setting for 7 minutes.
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@food_shoes_life: Bikini season is just around the corner. Unfortunately, so is the Mexican restaurant.
@BuckyIsotope: Ice, ice, baby. Ice, ice, baby. - Me taking inventory at the cryogenic infant storage facility.
@TheBoydP: *Wife sends me a link* *I click on link* *Buy whatever's at the link* *wait for delivery* ~Christmas shopping for my wife
@Chicken_Hawk38: All i'm saying is that if you were a real psychic palm reader you would of made me wash my hands first.