@AmishPornStar1: Pro Tip: You can disable the surveillance camera in your microwave by heating a metal fork on the high setting for 7 minutes.
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@samfromks: Nice try Jehovah's Witnesses but dressing up like cops and telling me you have a warrant is not going to get me to come to my door.
@KalvinMacleod: Wife: This milk is 30 seconds past due, time to throw it out. Me: This milk is lumpy. I need a fork.
@thats_a_morey: What's that movie about the girl who forgets Adam Sandler every day? I want to know her secret