@sammyrhodes: Probably a good thing I'm not a ghost cause I'd just stay in the kitchen and scare people then eat all their food.
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@xLiserx: 1 of the 7 newly discovered planets has already been declassified after discovering it was merely Pluto wearing high heels & sunglasses.
@FrogAvalanche: Mother: A carrot is just a vegan hotdog. *son looks at carrot* Mother: [desperate] Bugs Bunny eats them! Son: This is updoc. Mother: What's-
@chris_isloi: Whenever two people argue over something, yell out "OBJECTION" and then contradict the one wearing something you don't like.