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@BroHumor: Probably not the best place to put the authors name..
@BeerBatterBeard: You'd think that the guy in charge of putting pepperoni on frozen pizzas would've been up for a performance review by now.
@eliserose5: Don't be a doormat, be an electric fence.
@Leslie_Annie: Irony. The opposite of wrinkly.
Thank you. I'll be here all night.
@GrrrRach: Operator: 999, emergency services. Which service do you require?
Me: Oh! Don't mind me, I was just cleaning cake off the touch screen.
@Xoolun: I came home from the gym today staggering and sweating after pushing my body to the limit.
And all I did was sign up.