@BroHumor: Probably not the best place to put the authors name..
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@jeannerbeaner: Pronounce it "Valentimes Day" so Cupid will know to shoot you right in your stupid face.
@Home_Halfway: BARISTA: I have an order for...God? Is there a God? [no one answers] ATHEIST: Haha told ya GOD: *exiting bathroom* Sorry I'm here ATH: Shit
@ruraljules: Relationship status~ Siri saw my browser history & now she isn't talking to me either
@verycozy: ME: I have crab like reflexes DAD:I think you mean cat like reflexes ME: [sitting in pot of boiling water] what