@DanMentos: probably should have split this into two separate stories guys
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@XLCadillac: [job interview] “Why should I hire you?” “Because I have pictures of you with a goat?”
@InternetHippo: The stages of getting old are: 1) shocked to see that some famous person is younger than you 2) not surprised anymore b/c they're all younger
@FredPollack: Had trouble sleeping today. They added a trumpeter to this morning's church service.