@tat2dsoccermom: Probably should not have driven home from the bar last night.. especially considering I walked there.
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@Playing_Dad: If God didn't intend for us to eat animals, he was probably really freaked out when we started
@peb671: Ever noticed how you used to be embarrassed by things you did or that happen to you, but now your first thought is "I can tweet that"
@mattingebretson: As a kid on summer nights I'd capture fireflies in a jar then show them to my father and say "please buy me a sega this does nothing for me"
@markleggett: I just whispered "Come at me, bro" to a bug and it ran towards me, so now I'm in my car driving away from my old life.