@thejessbess: Probably the most valuable life lesson I've learned from a movie is to not steal black girls' cheer routines.
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@lloydrang: People who tweet about politics should have to pass a small test: if i say "Oh, look, a dead bird," and you look UP, we take your phone away
@nbadag: [jurassic world] ME: so what ur saying is, no one milks the dinosaurs bc it's too dangerous TOUR GUIDE: that is not what i'm saying at all
@KalvinMacleod: [dinner party] GUEST: so what are your thoughts on euthanasia? ME: [mouth full of mashed potatoes] I am against youths everywhere.