@SortaBad: Probably the worst part about being a penguin is after you're in an argument, you'll try to waddle away angrily but still look adorably cute
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@conanobrienswyf: All out of clean spoons so I guess I'll just eat this fat free yogurt with my gun.
@Book_Krazy: Does anybody know how many toddlers you have to bring to 'Toys For Tots' before you're eligible for an Xbox?
@Eric_Bader: I overheard someone say all Asians are ninjas. I would've told him how racist that sounded but he was black and I didn't want to get mugged.
@TheDailySchmuck: I'm black but not " can't understand the Winter Olympics" black. Those guys in the ski race are running from cops on a bobsled, right?