@SortaBad: Probably the worst part about being a penguin is after you're in an argument, you'll try to waddle away angrily but still look adorably cute
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@koalaslament: I hate it when I go to clean my daughters room & I emerge 3 hours later having just finished a delightful tea party with a giraffe & a pony.
@KalvinMacleod: ME: all the King's horses and men couldn't put u back together HUMPTY DUMPTY: what now M: [opening package of bacon] I'll think of something
@ShutUpThatsWho: [first karate lesson] Me: *entering dojo* BONSAI!!! Sensei: Do you mean 'Banzai'? Me: *just starts chucking little trees at Sensei*
@primawesome: Please stay on the line. Your call is important to us. We think we might be in love with your call. We made your call a mix tape.