@robdelaney: Probably the worst thing you can do to a person is leave them a voicemail.
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@VerbsRProudest: Yes I wore a $900 fuchsia southern belle dress to your kid's baptism. When I was your bridesmaid, you said I could always wear it again.
@BackrowSeats: The toughest part of a job interview is finding the exact right moment to go in for the kiss.
@Fred_Delicious: "911? Help, my son has gone missing" [baby lowers hands from eyes] "Holy crap he just appeared out of nowhere"
@jordan_stratton: Remember, kids: Never get in cars with strangers unless you've used an app to select a specific stranger to drive you around in their car