@KKAlThani: Probably the worst time to ask "shouldn't we go on a date first?" is after getting handcuffed by a police officer.
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@captaincoximus: If I could pick a superpower it would be to clone myself so the other me could answer the 4,291,386 questions my 4 year old asks daily
@SamuelHLowe: You know you're old when you watch a horror movie where annoying, partying college kids get murdered and you identify with the killer.
@michaelianblack: Now that my kids are getting older, I'm worried I'll never have the opportunity to leave my wife for the nanny.