@ChiefTwittler: Probing: Aliens have had plenty of time to figure out our biology -now they're just having fun.
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@SHOWERTHlNKING: What if Harry Potter was dreaming for seven years because he ran headfirst into a wall at a train station?
@SCbchbum: The awkward moment when you say, "I love you," then the pizza delivery guy says, "That'll be $12.46, please."
@Home_Halfway: JOSH: Hey dad DAD: Oh my god is your name still Josh JOSH: Um yeah DAD: We're changing it JOSH: No please don- DAD: It's done ERIC: What the