@TommyKarate: Procrastination is a dish best served tomorrow.
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@SirEviscerate: Are you eating Jell-O? Cow: "Yeah." You know what gelatin is made from, right? Cow: "No, what?" Uh. Rainbows. Enjoy, buddy.
@PencilWalrus: [Job interview] "What would you say is your greatest strength?" "Sticking my fingers in people's mouths." "Arhghv-um-hirv-ok-hrbsj-hired"
@dumbbeezie: I don't have Facebook I use the police to tell my friends and family when I'm doing badly