@DaddyJew: IT:have you deleted your cookies? Me:yea the chocolate ones. There may be some raisin ones left IT:is there somebody else I could talk to?

@AntozWolf: People say I have the legs of a dancer. But until they find the rest of the body, the cops have nothing on me, man!

@KKAlThani: Me: why did you stop me? Cop: for starters you're not wearing a seatbelt. Me: what about main course? Cop: step out of the car.

@Shh182: I didn't fart, I flirted. That was a flirt! *runs away flirting*

@DanMentos: "So what do you do?" I'm a wordsmith "A what?" A writer. I deal with words. How about you? "Oh I'm a uh… weedsmith"