@bobvulfov: Professor i'd like an extension on my paper. why? well my ex just got married & i have to comment "lame" on all her wedding pics on facebook
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@DepressedDarth: That awkward moment when your stormtrooper army loses a battle to a bunch of teddy bears with sticks and stones.
@MindyFurano: Juicing changed my life. I went from being overweight, to being overweight and owning a juicer.
@professorkiosk: Me: Try to make a sandwich while doing a handstand. Genie: That's not really a wish, you know. Me: I said handstandwich!