@Jake_Vig: Programmed Siri to respond to any request with "That's what she said."
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@Poutymcgee: "You go girl!! Your dance moves are on point! Why not get up on stage for some karaoke too! You're an amazing singer!" - Vodka
@AbbyHasIssues: If you bump into someone at the grocery store and say goodbye, there's a 99 percent chance you'll see them in every single aisle after that.
@KeetPotato: [sex-ed lesson] now, unroll the condom down over the bana- what is it keith? "i ate my banana"