@geowizzacist: 3 (calls out): daddy I'm cleaning the floor with a mob. Me: you mean a mop? (enters to see 100 people licking the floor) no ok that's a mob

@sarcasticmommy4: "If you can't beat them, join them," I say, as I join my kids in demanding someone make breakfast.

@LouisNel: My neighbors listen to great music... whether they like it or not.

@Parentpains: It's actually pretty easy to win an argument with a woman when you wait until she's not around to have it.

@Matt_the_1st: If Seal was my friend, I would never miss an opportunity to ask him, "Wanna go clubbing?"