@Jake_Vig: Programmed Siri to respond to any request with "That's what she said."
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@thejessbess: Are they Milk Duds? Cuz I'm definitely not getting in your van for some stupid Milk Duds.
@ashleyn1cole: WTF NEW YORK?!?!?! I carried a paper grocery bag with a baguette in it for BLOCKS and NOBODY FELL IN LOVE WITH ME.
@Chumpstring: Unfortunately a recent breakthrough in therapy means I must say goodbye to my comfort swords, my acceptance machete, and my protection bomb.
@JohnLyonTweets: The downside of having friends who love sarcasm and irony is that when we make plans I'm never entirely sure we really made plans.