@bfrosty04: Prom night for my 17 year old daughter, or as I like to call it, 'Dad spends the evening sharpening his axe' night.
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@thatUPSdude: HR: What are some of your strengths? Me: Shifting the blame HR: That's a horrible reply Me: No, your question was! HR: Wow, you're good!
@Iwriteforcats: MEN: Developed Theory of Relatively. Walked on the Moon. Painted the Mona Lisa. Baffled by bra hooks.
@Curt__Burt: Very sad to hear about Donald Trump. Nothing happened to him I'm just sad to hear about him
@Brampersandon_: ME: *eating fast food* VEGAN GUY: You eat that stuff? ME: Yeah VG: That stuff is gonna kill you ME: *visibly annoyed* not soon enough