@bfrosty04: Prom night for my 17 year old daughter, or as I like to call it, 'Dad spends the evening sharpening his axe' night.
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@Shot_Of_Cabo: If you guys don't hear from your sexy lady friend TC today it's because he's spending Father's Day with his family.
@FuckabillyRex: I just saw an old guy pick a rubber glove out of a garbage can and put it on, and I think he might be missing the point of rubber gloves.
@Wakenbake77: if you come trick or treating at my house you will leave with less candy than what you had
@ShutUpThatsWho: Interviewer: Your CV is a flip book of you setting things on fire. Me: Wrong. If you flip the pages the other way I'm putting the fires out.