@Pascallisch: Proper labeling of axes is absolutely crucial.
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@CroweJam: Snooki, but without the orange tan and poofy hair. And she's in charge of North Korea.
@thatdutchperson: [Stares deeply into date's eyes before going to the bathroom] "I've counted these fries."
@flashember: WIFE: Every time I get close, I get hurt. THERAPIST: Is this true? PORCUPINE HUSBAND: *bristles* OF COURSE IT'S TRUE I'M A BALL OF NEEDLES
@kumailn: Xmas Russian Roulette: 1. Sit next to parents. 2. Type any letter into browser on your laptop. 3. Go to the website it auto completes to.