@JermHimselfish: Proper punctuation can be the difference between a tweet being well written and a tweet being well, written.
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@HenpeckedHal: Wife: "Sorry, but my OBGYN said no sex for six weeks after childbirth." Me: "Oh, ok. What about..." Wife: "My dentist said six weeks too."
@LurkAtHomeMom: People who aren't entombed in 8 feet of snow, what's it like to live in a tropical paradise?
@AllieA: I used to accidentally hold hands with strangers I mistook for my dad. It's slightly weirder now that I'm in my 20s and doing it on purpose.
@AthenaMystique: Coworker: Oh, look how beautiful! It's snowing again! Me: *stabs coworker with icicle*