@JermHimselfish: Proper punctuation can be the difference between a tweet being well written and a tweet being well, written.
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@carlyken: *Walks into school* Simon says give me your Pokemon cards Ok now close your eyes *Walks out* Kids are so dumb I didn't even say Simon says
@huntigula: confuse your coworkers today by telling them you're going to the restroom to do a "number 3"
@Book_Krazy: [interview] HIM: What are your strengths? ME: Well, I can see dead people. HIM: Wow, interesting. Any hobbies? ME: Grave digging