@goldengateblond: PROPOSAL: Rebrand shootings as "late-term abortion." Watch the GOP scramble to stop them.
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@Mindless4Miles: I ducked into a crowd of guys bro hugging as they left the bar, they didn't notice the stranger in their midst and I'm feeling so loved rn.
@Home_Halfway: We all make fun of Kristen Stewart for her wide variety of facial expressions, but she'd probably kick all our asses in poker.
@hipchkk: If the majority of twitter's trending topics are any indication of the state of humanity thus far, we clearly need an asteroid intervention.