@NicestHippo: Props to every deodorant commercial ever for abandoning all creativity and just going with "If you buy this, women will have sex with you"
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@bombsydoll: Spotting a woman with a wrinkle-free unstained white shirt, I shield my children behind me. ‘Stay close’ I whisper. ‘Dark magic is among us’
@mortimermaiden: Me: I'm gonna renovate the house once I get my promotion. After that, kids maybe? Date: Are you still talking about The Sims? Me: Of course.