@NicestHippo: Props to every deodorant commercial ever for abandoning all creativity and just going with "If you buy this, women will have sex with you"
YOU MIGHT ALSO LIKE
@realHamOnWry: *eats whole carrot cake* *waits for eyesight to improve*
@bombsydoll: Spotting a woman with a wrinkle-free unstained white shirt, I shield my children behind me. ‘Stay close’ I whisper. ‘Dark magic is among us’
@JennyJohnsonHi5: I pulled a muscle trying to avoid my neighbor in the grocery store.
@mortimermaiden: Me: I'm gonna renovate the house once I get my promotion. After that, kids maybe? Date: Are you still talking about The Sims? Me: Of course.
@panmidwest: USPS: if you pay us $8 we'll deliver your package safely ME: k USPS: but if you pay $4 extra for insurance… we PROMISE to deliver it safely
COMMENTS