@NicestHippo: Props to every deodorant commercial ever for abandoning all creativity and just going with "If you buy this, women will have sex with you"
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@w00f_w00f: Hate it when couples fight & change their relationship status to "single". I fight with my parents, and don't change my status to "orphan".
@Quartzjixler: "I didn't go to grad school to assemble agenda folios for the quarterly board meeting" I think as I drizzle Dawn into the CEO's coffee pot.
@paperphotoyo: Just had to Google synonyms for the word creative. The irony is not lost on me.
@Brampersandon_: COWORKER: u got like 8 hickeys. Mustve been a fun weekend haha ME (remembering not to talk about octopus fight club): yea it got pretty wild
@Kyle_Lippert: Just saw a dude catcall a woman with "Nice heels, girl" and his friend slapped him and said "Those are knock offs, bro"
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