@JoParkerBear: Protect your Twitter account from plagiarism by only tweeting things that nobody cares about.
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@Fred_Delicious: [Duck support group] "After i lost Barbara I was doing bread 5, maybe 6 times a day" *the other ducks nod sympathetically*
@JKNenagh: Policeman:"Sir, we have sufficient evidence to believe that this vehicle has been stolen. Me: how Policeman: Step out of the tank Sir