@JoParkerBear: Protect your Twitter account from plagiarism by only tweeting things that nobody cares about.
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@meganamram: Just heard about this teacher who had sex with his student. Another reason I won't send MY dog to obedience school
@hurlarious: I like to leave my gas cap hanging off when I'm on a date so when people start honking and waving I can wave back like I'm famous
@jsam1126: A guy on the street just said "nice feet" to me can someone tell me seriously if that was a cat call?
@DonKinderknecht: I put my baby on the baby changing station in the bathroom and when I was done, it was the same baby. :-(