@Carbosly: Protip: if your date is going to throw a drink at your face, at least open your mouth, because hey, free drink.
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@theshantilly: I always try to compliment people, even if it's just, "Wow, I've never seen clothes worn like that before." or "You have a dope overbite."
@PaulyPeligroso: "Oh, hey! I didn't even recognize you!" means "I saw you and tried to avoid you, but here you are."
@NoTrophy4You: When I was 3 years old I looked at my nutsack and asked my Mom "Are these my brains?"."Not yet," she replied
@CelebrityChez: Wow, what a day. I volunteered at a soup kitchen, caught up on my scrapbookin', went 2 baby shower, ran 9 miles, then told lies on twitter.