@Carbosly: Protip: if your date is going to throw a drink at your face, at least open your mouth, because hey, free drink.
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@BlindChow: Hey girl, do you like bad boys? *tries to look cool by flicking my cig, but it's an e-cig so I have to run and get it*
@carebear4647: No Twitter crush. I have a twitter boyfriend who I intend to marry and have twitter babies. Then twitter divorce and take all his followers.