@TheBoydP: Protip: If your wife asks you “How lazy can you be?” it’s a rhetorical question.
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@MK_Shenanigans: I forgot FB was not Twitter & posted something ultra dirty. Now I have to avoid my granndma, change my hair color & leave the state.
@WhaJoTalkinBout: waiter: do you need a minute to look over the menu? me, researched it online: yes please
@faizziy: Whenever a long lost friend calls me, I get suspicious & wonder if he's calling me to sell Amway products..