@kenna_bo__benna: PSA: don't write papers hammered and then turn them in like me🙃
YOU MIGHT ALSO LIKE
@badbanana: Donald Trump says he'll open up secret 9/11 files. Miley Cyrus says she'll flee the country if Trump is elected. Connect the dots, people.
@LipLush1: 911: what's your emergency? me: I taught my Dad how to text 911: the problem ma'am? me: he CALLS to say "yeah, got ur text"
@davidkenny100: Date: Are you ready to take on another man's child? Me: yes Later- Date: This is.. *I knock her kid out with one punch Me: too easy!
@mynameisntdave: GENIE: u get 3 wishes! ME: for my first wish, I want a never-ending bowl of guac GENIE: guac, huh? Yeah, that's gonna cost you an extra wish