@alienated: PSA for librarians: occasionally check how the World Book encyclopedia is arranged on your shelves
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@AnitaHelmet: If one more teenager uses the term 'Back in the day'...I swear I'm gonna smack them with a floppy disk and choke them with my legwarmers.
@UnFitz: Her: What's your fantasy? Me: It involves peanut butter... Her: Mmmm. Where would you like me to put it? Me: *hands her bread*
@Jandalize: Stop calling it "sweater weather" and call it what it really is, "I don't have to shave my legs for 6 months weather."
@dubstep4dads: Me: sorry I rode a giraffe to your grandmas funeral Friend: what? that's not a giraffe Me: sorry I'm on drugs at your grandmas funeral