@alienated: PSA for librarians: occasionally check how the World Book encyclopedia is arranged on your shelves
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@VerifiedDrunk: If you love someone just tell them. Or get drunk and text them 75 times, that's practically the same thing.
@GlumGeorgeLucas: "Rogue One" idea: The spies anxiously wait to meet their new commander. Boldly - regally - he strides into the room. "Mesa Jar-Jar Binks"
@hazelmotes1: Having children really brought me and my wife closer together. We have a common enemy now.
@_ElvishPresley_: me: I'd like one mcdouble please employee: sir, this is a Burger King me: ok one mcdouble please, ur majesty