@alienated: PSA for librarians: occasionally check how the World Book encyclopedia is arranged on your shelves
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@CorkyKneivel: [in bed] "No, I'm serious Amy. If this were a buddy cop movie would you try to avenge my murder even after the Chief took your gun & badge?"
@ericsshadow: Every year my wife buys me Christmas gifts I didn't ask for. Why would I need this many books about foreplay?
@jordan_stratton: SON: Daddy, I keep hearing noises from my closet. I think a monster's in there. ME: Yeah, why do you think mom and I chose the other room?