@StevieKnip: PSA: If you're about to be arrested, climb to the roof of a nearby court. You are now 'above the law' & literally can't get in trouble ever
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@Sarcasticsapien: I hate when someone texts me cause then I can't post anything on the internet or they'll know I'm ignoring them.
@DevinRange: I love my 5yr old dearly, but if he keeps saying "Dark" Vader I may have to sell him.
@TheMichaelRock: Coworker: I could care less! Me: How much less could you care? Coworker: I don't get it. Me: I noticed.
@ChrChristensen: "Do you believe in evolution?" "No" "Global warming?" "No" "Racial Equality?" "No" "Then what makes The West superior? "Science! Logic!"